Many posts were previously written and posted on another website, but since that blog was going in a different direction I decided to take my cardiac related posts and create Offbeat Follies. I am attempting a no-holds barred way of expressing my trials and triumphs in life with a congenital heart defect. It is in no way meant to offend anyone and if you find crude language offensive, you should not proceed. It's all right; I won't take it personally.


- I was born with: transposition of the greater arteries & left ventricle septal defect. My heart sits in off-center in my chest cavity, favoring the right side.

- Surgeries: Senning, Hemi-Fontan, Complete Fontan & open heart surgery for a pacemaker, which sits in my left abdomen-ish area.

- I am 30, and am recognized as "disabled" by the Social Security Administration (it's the only having one ventricle thing). I have dealt with the most humbling of bureaucratic systems in this country just to ensure that I am never without health coverage. I  may not pay with my money, but I do pay with my freedom.

- Previous jobs include: child care, booth babe, copywriter, voice & experimental film actress.

- I still live at home. I hope to correct this very soon.

- I volunteer with Camp del Corazon, a camp for kids 7-17 living with heart issues. They probably hate the fact that I publicize this fact.


I am a bionic woman.

I have a series of interviews with young women living with congenital heart defects.

I documented coming to terms with permanent sterilization - and the subsequent struggles to achieve effective birth control which, after some tomfoolery, finally led to my ultimate surgery.

There was a moment I really didn't know if I would make it out all right. Spoiler: I did.

There was that time when I wrote a love letter to medical students.

Also, that time when I discussed how I deal with the medical establishment.

I make a decent attempt at doling out advice on wooing your social worker,  travelling with a chronic illness and tips for the Professional Patient.

I have a low tolerance for piddly nonsense and stupid people who behave atrociously simply because they feel entitled.

Sometimes I am actually serious and will get all philosophical up on you.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Do you really talk like how you write?
- In short: Not really. I have very intense emotions overall, but nothing ruffles my feathers more than dealing with medical drama or drama surrounding my congenital heart defect. The society in which I live in is not set up for people like me to succeed.

Then why do you write using crass language?
- Because that is how I accurately express the raw emotions I have in regards to my health. I can be bitter, angry, frustrated and downright bombastic. It's not a particularly attractive side of my personality, which is why I prefer to emotionally vomit on a blog rather than all over my friends and loved ones. Offbeat Follies is cathartic for me and using vulgarities is part of the process. If it's not your cup of tea, it's okay not to read it.

I love to read comments from readers, but know that all comments that are rude, argumentative, or try to push a religious/political agenda will be immediately removed. Please do not try to get me to ride any Drama Llama's, either.