I have no real excuse for the lack of updates over the last two years. During my bilateral hernia surgery recovery, the pain was so intense that I could not find the spirit to rally my thoughts beyond "I am in pain and I am depressed."
I have a few half-written posts that never got published simply because I find it too difficult to show that level of vulnerability. So I kept away instead.
Also, as time has wears on, I grow closer not only to my team, but to people in this Spoonie world overall. So I become self-aware of the impact my words may have on other people. I don't want to alienate anyone, or risk divulging private information, either. I do my best to avoid naming names or referencing any event outside of my own experience. It is an ever growing challenge.
Many changes have occurred in just the last six months alone that I have had to completely recalibrate how and what I want my online presence to be. My big blog, formerly Glass of Win, is going to move from its current state as a self-hosted website to a smaller, quieter entity on a simple Wordpress. I no longer have the energy or a strong enough interest to update it as I once did. I will miss a lot of opportunities, but the rewards were always short-lived and ultimately not as fulfilling as where my energy is being currently directed.
This blog, for all intents and purposes, has always been the more personal outlet and the one, two year vacation notwithstanding, I come crawling back to at the end of the day. I have a private-private journal for the truly vulnerable emotions, but I know a handful of readers really do enjoy my visceral ramblings. So I am going to try this out again.