Friday, April 13, 2012

Patients for a Moment: More than your disease

I'm participating in the April edition of Patients for a Moment.

This is the question in full:
"Who are you without your disease or condition? What makes you more than just your disease? How have you adapted these aspects of your life so they're not completely overcome by your illnesses?"

Then the hostess goes on to list some examples - basically take away my illness and what do I have left going on my life?

The wording of the questions as I interpret it - "Who are you without your disease or condition" - means to me "Who is the person you would be without your disease or condition?"

Which is a different interpretation of what our hostess goes on to list as examples of what she means (i.e  the rest of your life BESIDES your health)

Here's the cold hard fucking truth:
There isn't a single aspect of my life that is the way it is because of my heart condition. Every single little thing is happening because of these health problems.
I'm a freelance writer because I had to quit my career. I focus on writing because my health couldn't keep up with my acting. I am living at home with family because I was never able to earn enough income to move out. I never finished college because my health (ok, and my patience) couldn't keep up with the stressful work load. All of my art somehow reflects my feelings on my health, my facade, and my fears.
Every minute detail of my life is dictated by this heart condition...but so what? It is what it is and I'm going to have fun and be who I want to be, contribute as best as I can and hopefully make a bitch or two smile every now and again.

So let's break this shit down, question by question.

Who are you without your disease or condition?

- I don't know that person. She would be a stranger to me and I wouldn't recognize her.

What makes you more than just your disease?
I think it's pretty obvious considering how present I am on the internet, but maybe not to some of you so's I'm gonna list all the shit I do outside of being a Professional Patient.
- Food and Travel writer, when I can get gigs. Sometimes PR companies hit me up to cover food related events. Those are the best because it's a good time for me, content for my blog and essentially free press for the event.

- Mixed Media Artist. I only give my work to charity, but I have sold a few morbid art dolls that I've made. Usually my pieces reflect some sort of essence of my heart condition though. I'd like to do more of this but you know, the muse comes and goes.

- Novelist. Yeah, I've completed quite a number of novels and no, they're not published. I hope to self-publish them one day. I no longer have Big Publishing House dreams because that shit scares me, but if I could find a small but loyal fan base I'd be the happiest bitch in the world. I've written everything from children chapter books to adult stories.

- You all know I volunteer with Camp del Corazon so there is no need to go further into that.

- I'm pretty much the one who runs the house here since I'm at home most of the time. I try to keep things tidy and organized. Some days are better than others.

- I'm plastered all over the goddamn internet because that's all I learned how to do in life (and I've yet to repeat any of the big money I made as an idiot teenager hawking shit on eBay). I make silly YouTube videos about being a Professional Patient and about Batman. I used to host my own radio show and podcast. I tumblr about memes and macros. I got little nooks and crannies all up in this bitch.

How have you adapted these aspects of your life so they're not completely overcome by your illnesses?
Everything at one point or another will be overcome by my heart condition - even temporarily. I just have to maintain a kind of life that allows to be put on pause every now and then. I just had to learn to accept this and be all that I want to be when things are quiet with my health.

PS: Is it just me or did the Blogger "upgrade" get dumber and shittier than usual? Christ, Blogger, who do you have back there running this shit, cigar smoking chimps?

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