Sunday, July 17, 2011

Today is my fucking birthday. I rule.

Today I am 29 years old and it is the one day the judge has permitted me to indulge in my raging narcissism.

Ever since I was a teenager and I started to hear young, lively people reduce to two year old tantrums every time their birthday rolled around I decided to never get bitchy and whiny about my birthday. Growing Old means I'M STILL HERE TO GROW OLD. That outweighs any gray hair I find, any aches I feel, any "ma'am's" I hear. Bitches, I am still alive and that is fucking beautiful thing.

HOWEVER, for whatever stupid ass reason, I felt a weird, melancholy feeling as 29 slowly crept closer. I tried to shrug it off and then, as it persisted, I tried to beat it down with a stick. Short of killing it with fire, I'm just going to have to accept a slight melancholy feeling of just "This is not where I wanted to be in life at this age" BUT THIS DOES NOT TRANSLATE TO "Oh shit, I am so fucking old, I'm going to fill out my AARP membership card and go treat myself the Senior Grand Slam at Denny's before I snuggle down at 7:00pm and fall asleep to reruns of Matlock."

Part of the melancholy feeling spawns from a Logan's Run fear that I have an expiration date. My paternal unit is to blame for this irrational fear, as he is typically the parent I go to for level-headed logic. In a moment of weakness he foolishly confided in me that, to his understanding, my earliest doctors gave me a lifespan of 30 years. Basically, in one year from now, my hand is going to start beeping and I'm gonna be on the lam, running from a scythe wielding reaper who has a tight schedule to keep. PARENTAL FAIL.

So I'm still happy to be getting older 'cause, hell, here the fuck I still stand and I am grateful for whatever Force that wants me still roaming wild and free on this planet.

I am also grateful to TEAM RACHAEL! - from the first members of TR! to my current card carrying posse, TEAM RACHAEL! has always striven to keep me out of the grave and onto my next birthday.
Even though it's in the job description to keep patients alive, TEAM RACHAEL! isn't just going on a god complex, they actually give two craps about me and want me to live another day. Not everyone can say they get that kind of support or rallying for ones well being, and I count myself among the fortunate.

Thanks, TEAM RACHAEL! I couldn't have gotten to this point without you. <3

No comments:

Post a Comment